| School Stupidities |
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This page shows quotes from conversations that actually happened at school. The very fact that so many stupid things happen at school rather than learning, proves that the school system is useless.
The school system fails to occupy some people so much, however, that they often say strange or funny things at school. This does not mean they are less intelligent, have a behavior problem, or have a learning disorder; to the contrary, they are just very creative, and because of the school system, are forced to use their creativity in different ways. Some of these recurring "characters" are: Alway, Vic, Tracey, Foley, Nap, Kev, and Pawley. All quotes have "Student #" and "Teacher" in them. Italic names will show you who they are, while all other names are removed for anonymity.
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| The Quotes |
Teacher: Would you prefer to attend a lecture or attend a tutorial?
Student: I'd prefer not to go to school at all. I'll take the textbook.
Teacher: (marking an assignment extremely frustratingly slowly)
Student: Ah. His work looks good. Next student.
Teacher: Nobody cares about your opinion.
Student: Seemed like you needed help deciding.
Teacher: Leave. I'm calling your parents.
Teacher: (puts a divider between two students during a test)
Student: The divider is unnecessary. I wouldn't copy her answers anyway; my mark would go down
Teacher: If you slap him, I wouldn't mind.
Teacher: What is 728 × 65n / (22/7 × 224) × 1.1723
Student: Negative six?
Teacher: Come back tomorrow.
Student: Isn't truancy illegal?
Teacher: Excuse me. I'm trying to teach here.
Student: Excuse you.
Teacher: Would you like to leave?
Student: Does that mean I am excused from class?
Teacher: For this fill-in-the-blanks activity, all of the answers have the word 'stone' or 'rock' in them. (Says a few questions out loud) The third one is, "A blank collects rocks."
(silence)
Student: Haha, a fag.
Teacher: The International Date Line is located at 180 degrees east or west longitude, and when you cross that line, you either gain or lose a day, depending on your direction.
Student: Really? It sounds like one of those stupid commercials... you know, "Call the International Date Line to meet sexy singles from all over the world... Just call 1-800-IDL-DATE!
Teacher: Throw that milk away! You can't have milk in the classroom!
Student: But my English teacher says that milk's an excellent source of vitamins and calcium!
Teacher: As Catholics, we believe that only one person has ever truly incarnated. That person is
Student: Chuck Norris!
Teacher: What do you mean you have an anti-school site? What's an anti-school site?
Student: Uhh... it's a website... that is against the school system.
Teacher: Oh. I hope it doesn't promote bullying or anything like that.
Student: ...No. No, it does not.
Student 1: After the game, the whole football team went to Crabby Joe's for all-you-can-eat ribs, and Student 2 just ordered a sandwich.
Student 3: What? That's like being a millionaire and living in a shanty town!
Student 2: I would actually enjoy doing that.
Student 3: What? That's like a stupid person... being stupid!
Student 1: Guitar Hero III ruined DragonForce.
Student 2: Yeah, I know.
Student 1: But, the thing is, now they have a whole bunch of ten year olds that will go out and buy whatever crap they come out with.
Student 3: They also have a whole bunch of fourteen year olds saying, "Oh, Guitar Hero III ruined DragonForce!".
Teacher: You see these symbols on the map for hospitals and police stations? Who can tell me what type of map symbol those are?
Student: Post office!
Student: He isn't tall enough to ride the water slide at the YMCA!
Student: I know all the taxi drivers.
Student: Yeah, cause you mom dated them all!
Teacher: Remember: you have to use block letters when you're mapping. That means all capital letters.
Student: Block letters? Who uses block letters? Is that even legal?
Bus Driver: Does anyone know what the axe at the front of the bus is for?
Student: Well, if a robber comes on the bus, then you can hit him with the axe.
Teacher The only thing better than food is free food.
Student: And the only thing better than free food is food you make yourself!
Teacher (Points at student) You shut up.
Teacher: Okay, we're going to do this little activity to get to know each other. I'll say the start of a sentence, and you get to fill in the rest. The sentence is, "When I was getting ready for school this morning, I felt..."; Okay, you start (points to student).
Student: Umm... okay... when I was getting ready for school this morning, I felt... magical.
Student: Can I use my iPod as a calculator? Because... uh... I forgot my calculator. Yeah. |
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